Current:Home > Scams'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -AssetVision
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-12 11:19:21
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (1666)
Related
- The 401(k) millionaires club keeps growing. We'll tell you how to join.
- Gabrielle Union Has the Best Response to Critics of Her Cheeky Swimsuits
- Kevin Costner Ordered in Divorce Docs to Pay Estranged Wife Christine $129K Per Month in Child Support
- This Waterproof JBL Speaker With 59,600+ 5-Star Reviews Is Only $40 on Prime Day 2023
- Most popular books of the week: See what topped USA TODAY's bestselling books list
- 'Hospital-at-home' trend means family members must be caregivers — ready or not
- Young men making quartz countertops are facing lung damage. One state is taking action
- Colleen Ballinger's Remaining Miranda Sings Tour Dates Canceled Amid Controversy
- How to watch the 'Blue Bloods' Season 14 finale: Final episode premiere date, cast
- As Flooding Increases, Chicago Looks To Make Basement Housing Safer
Ranking
- Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
- Army Corps of Engineers Withdraws Approval of Plans to Dredge a Superfund Site on the Texas Gulf Coast for Oil Tanker Traffic
- A Honduras mayor gambled on a plan for her town. She got 80 guitars ... and a lot more
- Can't Fall Asleep? This Cooling Body Pillow With 16,600+ 5-Star Amazon Reviews is $38 for Prime Day 2023
- Tree trimmer dead after getting caught in wood chipper at Florida town hall
- The Energy Department Hails a Breakthrough in Fusion Energy, Achieving a Net Energy Gain With Livermore’s Vast Laser Array
- EPA Paused Waste Shipments From Ohio Train Derailment After Texas Uproar
- You know those folks who had COVID but no symptoms? A new study offers an explanation
Recommendation
Meet first time Grammy nominee Charley Crockett
“Strong and Well” Jamie Foxx Helps Return Fan’s Lost Purse During Outing in Chicago
Amazon Prime Day 2023 Flash Deal: 52% Off a Revlon Heated Brush That Dries and Styles at the Time Same
A former teen idol takes on crypto
IRS recovers $4.7 billion in back taxes and braces for cuts with Trump and GOP in power
Raises Your Glasses High to Vanderpump Rules' First Ever Emmy Nominations
A former teen idol takes on crypto
Why can't Canada just put the fires out? Here are 5 answers to key questions